


But Only If I Want You To

by jinshearteyes



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Choreographer Park Jimin (BTS), Cute Kim Taehyung | V, Dancer Park Jimin, Everyone Is Gay, Feels, Hurt Kim Taehyung | V, Hurt Park Jimin, Hurt/Comfort, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Sweetheart, M/M, Mentioned Jackson, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Min Yoongi | Suga Is a Little Shit, Park Jimin Is a Sweetheart, Park Jimin-centric, Producer Min Yoongi | Suga
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-05-23 17:09:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14938419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinshearteyes/pseuds/jinshearteyes
Summary: Park Jimin is a broke dancer pursuing a dream. Min Yoongi is a dreamless producer pursuing Park Jimin.I'm bad at summaries.** Title inspired by the quotation "You don't see me, now you do, but only if I want you to." (Scott Westerfeld)





	1. Chapter 1

Jimin fell for what seemed to be the thousandth time, sweat cascading down his face, blurring his vision. He was frustrated. Now sat cross-legged on the cold floor of the empty practice room, Jimin removed his too-tight sneakers to reveal bloody and blistered feet. He threw the cursed shoes across the room before releasing an exasperated sigh. He desperately needed a new pair, but he also needed to pay his college tuition, and his meagre coffee-shop barista wage barely covered rent. The saying goes that “hard work pays off”, but Jimin has been working his ass off for years and feels like he hasn’t moved an inch in the direction of his dream. If it wasn’t for the overwhelming encouragement and support he receives from his friends, he might’ve given up a long time ago. 

Refreshed by the thought of his friends, Jimin picked himself up, and tried again. And again. He knew the choreography would be tough to learn before he even began. But Jimin liked a challenge. He glided across the room like a swan on water, each intricate movement performed with purpose and raw emotion. Jimin flowed with the music, losing himself in the calming melody. He didn’t even notice the blue haired man leaning against the doorframe watching him intently before walking away. 

Finishing his routine with a final pirouette, the dancer let out a triumphant cry, because he had finally done it! He ran to his jacket, digging into the pocket to retrieve his phone. He had to tell Taehyung and Jungkook! As expected, his phone exploded with proud messages from his best friends and Jimin sat for a while, grinning dumbly, satisfied with himself. That was until a large group of squealing tutu-clad girls ran into the room, clearly excited for ballet rehearsal. Jimin jumped up from the floor in shock at the sudden cacophony, before looking at the time on his phone. 17:00. Of course, the owner said he was only permitted to use the room until then. He couldn’t complain though; they allowed him to use the space for free every day, even if it was only for a few hours which he was immensely grateful for. Every second of practice counted. 

Jimin slipped into his jacket, pocketing his phone and speaker. Still in a state of euphoria, he exited the building, the gentle Seoul breeze cooling his skin. Before he knew it, he was outside the small coffee shop, chuckling as he spotted a familiar boy cleaning the counter while using a coffee bean scoop as a microphone. Taehyung. 

He had met Tae after they both transferred to the same middle school. They always joked that it was fate; their friendship was destined since they accidentally wore matching One Piece backpacks on their first day. Taehyung wanted to be a singer, and Jimin a dancer. They paired up for a talent show under the duo name “Ying and Yang” and placed second for their complementarity (first place went to a boy called Jackson who did 30 consecutive front flips before stumbling offstage to throw up). Since then, the boys had been inseparable; they applied for the same university and the same part-time jobs. Despite this, they never grew tired of each other. How could they? 

With a jingle of the bell above the door, Jimin entered the café, jerking Taehyung out of his exaggerated performance of ‘In My Blood’. He turned around awkwardly to face him before breaking into a wide box-grin when he recognised his best friend.  
To his surprise, the shop was empty aside from a hooded figure sat in the far corner, who wasn’t paying any attention to the baristas’ exchange as he sipped his Americano while hunched over a laptop. Understandable, he guessed, considering the weather was so nice today, he supposed most people would be out enjoying the sun rather than cooping themselves up in a café. Clearly not everyone enjoyed the Sun. Not dwelling on the matter, Jimin walked into the back room, quickly changing into his uniform before returning to Taehyung, who was eagerly waiting to talk to him.

“Jimin, you have to show me your routine sometime!” he practically yelled, his expression like an excitable puppy. Jimin giggled at the younger boy, before responding “only if you sing for me”. Taehyung’s smile widened even further, nodding fervently. He knew how hard Tae was working on his vocals, and loved hearing his deep, rich voice full of passion. Seeing the way Taehyung’s eyes lit up as he talked about his dream gave Jimin endless satisfaction. The two would make their dreams a reality. Together. Immersed in their conversation, the pair didn’t see the customer leave the café after dropping a generous tip on the table with a crumpled note.  
While wiping down tables, Jimin found two 50 000 Won notes, almost dropping the cloth in his hand, remembering the mysterious man in the hoodie from before. He carefully unfolded the note with shaking hands. In scrawled handwriting it read: 'If you want to aim high, aim high, but don’t let everything consume you. Just live life.' Jimin felt tears prick his eyes. Taehyung saw his friend stop working to look at something. He walked over and curiously peered over the smaller boy’s shoulder to the read the note, eyes widening when he saw the money attached. 

“Who left that?” Taehyung asked, surprising Jimin, who didn’t see him creep up behind.  
“I- I don’t know” Jimin stuttered. “I just found it. I guess it was the customer from earlier. Did you see his face when he ordered?”  
Taehyung’s expression squeezed in concentration, as he tried to remember the customer’s appearance. After a few moments, realisation crept onto the boy’s features. “He had bright blue hair. I remember complimenting him for it, but he just grunted and walked away…” Taehyung pouted, evidently upset that his compliment wasn’t well received.  
“Ah I see. He probably didn’t hear you properly”, Jimin interjected in an attempt to help the younger boy feel better. “I guess he was listening to our conversation though”.  
Taehyung's smile returned. “Yeah maybe he felt guilty that he ignored me earlier so gave us money” he said half joking, because he still didn’t really understand the note.  
“We spent the whole shift talking about our dreams, my guess is that he wanted to help us achieve them in some way”. What they didn’t understand was why. Why would a stranger who didn’t even know them do so much to help? A confused silence settled upon the coffee shop.

“I can’t spend this money.” Jimin said suddenly. “I need to find the guy who left it. We have to return it”. It was a known fact that Jimin wanted to earn his position in life, he would feel guilty using someone else’s hard earned cash selfishly. Taehyung agreed, after all, he didn’t need the money; he was from a wealthy family. He had offered countless times to help pay Jimin’s tuition or buy him new shoes, but he had always politely declined. Truthfully, the only reason Taehyung took the job at the café was to spend more time with Jimin.

(TBC)


	2. Chapter 2

It had been another uninspiring day for Yoongi. He had spent hours staring unseeingly at the laptop screen in a darkened studio, willing an idea for a new song to appear on the blank pages of his notebook. He leaned back in his swivel chair, rubbing his tired eyes. He needed a cigarette. He never used to smoke, he always thought it was a disgusting habit. Over the years however, as his prestige as a producer increased so did the stress and sleepless nights.  
He swiped the small cigarette packet from the desk and stood up, exiting the room before turning the corner. He paused, straining his ears as he heard faint music coming from the end of the corridor. Idle curiosity getting the best of him, he dragged himself to the doorframe, brown eyes scanning the room before resting on a blonde-haired boy sat in the middle. For some reason, the sight of the boy awoke something inside Yoongi, something he thought had long shrivelled up and died. He saw the discarded grubby shoes. He saw the pain in the boy’s face as he nursed his injured feet, before getting up and restarting the music. As he resumed his routine, Yoongi stood, transfixed by his grace and beauty, a small smile on his face. The sweat made his face glow as he twirled to the music, and Yoongi felt another tug deep in his heart.

Yoongi was jolted out of his hypnotised state when he felt the tune slow. He had to leave before he was caught staring. He was not about to embarrass himself in front of the first guy he felt any kind of affection for in ages. He slipped out of the building soundlessly before leaning against the wall and inserting a cigarette between his lips. He fingered the lighter, lost in thought of the beautiful boy he had just seen. 

For ten minutes he stood, completely forgetting the cigarette until he felt the bitter soggy taste as it melted in his mouth, still unlit. He spat it out, growling an expletive before reaching for another, only to find the pack empty. Perfect, he thought. Coffee it is then.

Briskly walking back to his studio, Yoongi was careful to avoid the dancer. He pulled on a black hoodie and slid his laptop into a rucksack, along with a notebook and pen. If he was going to the coffee shop, he would at least attempt to get some work done. Maybe he would gain some inspiration from this trip. Who knows?  
A fresh gust of wind sent a shiver down Yoongi’s spine as he searched for the directions to the nearest coffee shop he could find. He had heard a new one had opened nearby recently, and thought it was as good a place as any to get his caffeine fix. Snaking through crowds of people in the busy streets of Seoul, he was thankful for the fact that although he was a renowned producer, few people knew his face. He was able to live his introverted lifestyle comfortably, without the added stress of pictures and autographs every day. Yoongi was not a sociable person; he would lock himself away in his studio for days on end to work on a project, only leaving his chair to collect takeaway meals and deliveries, or to smoke. His friends invite him out to drink with them once in a blue moon, and he has fun. But then he feels guilty for neglecting his work and locks himself away again. He didn’t like the side of him that alcohol awakened.  
Hoseok and Namjoon, his closest producer friends, constantly remind him that it isn’t healthy to spend his days holed up in a dark room. He’s still young, after all. He should be out clubbing or whatever normal young people do. Yoongi just scoffs in response or ignores their texts for a while. He knows they mean well, but this was his business- his life, and he didn’t like people dictating the way he lived it. 

After a short walk he found the café; a small cosy-looking place with brown brick walls and glass doors. The sign above the doors read ‘Perkatory’; Yoongi rolled his eyes at the tragic pun before entering. He was greeted by a friendly looking man with light brown hair and a unique smile that strangely made Yoongi want to smile back. He felt his lips curl, but stopped himself, deciding to look at the menu behind the man’s head instead of his face. He focussed intently on the list of drinks available despite knowing exactly what he was ordering before even leaving the studio. His order was always the same: one Americano with a double shot of caffeine and a bagel. Without looking at the barista, he voiced his order emotionlessly.

After he paid, he heard the barista mention that he liked his hair colour. Yoongi never handled compliments well. He mumbled a barely-audible ‘thanks’ (though it sounded more like a grunt) and snatched his order from the counter before walking automatically toward the furthest corner of the empty shop, flipping his hood to firmly cover his face so that Taehyung didn’t catch sight of the blush slowly spreading like a wildfire across his cheeks.  
To take his mind away from this awkward encounter, he reached into his rucksack and removed his laptop and notebook. There he set up his temporary workspace, inserting earphones to block out the worker’s singing- not that it sounded bad, he just needed to focus. Every now and then, his eyes wandered to the young barista, watching him shamelessly sing and dance to a diverse range of songs. It honestly impressed Yoongi; the boy had so much confidence in himself, seeming so happy and passionate. A niggling part deep within Yoongi envied him for that.

The bell rang out suddenly, signalling a new customer, and Yoongi’s attention snapped to the blonde dancer now entering the shop. His eyes widened in recognition before steeling his gaze to his laptop screen, however he muted the music so that he could eavesdrop on the pair. He was curious about the younger man, and it’s not illegal to overhear a conversation, right?

The two men fooled around for a short while before fantasising about their future, along with their respective hopes and dreams. Yoongi found this captivating; work was work for him. Sure, he had goals, but they were mostly track deadlines set by his clients. He had never really had a dream of his own. Therefore, listening to the two men discuss their dreams in detail fascinated him. He could see that they were working desperately hard, they just didn’t have the resources or connections. Yoongi had been in their shoes. Back in Daegu he was just an unknown boy with an interest in music. Then he had moved to Seoul, hoping to catch a break. He had spent years carving a reputation for himself in the industry from nothing; he had starved himself to save up for his various sound and recording equipment and worked three jobs to fund it all.

Progress takes time, and extreme effort, Yoongi knew that much. He had seen a part of himself in the dancer from before; he had sacrificed his feet by practicing in the wrong shoes just as Yoongi had sacrificed his own health to save money. Perhaps this is what drew him towards the younger boy. But he didn’t want him to suffer the way he did. 

After silently placing his laptop back in the bag, Yoongi had an idea. He tore out a page from his notebook and penned a note that he hoped would convey the message: ‘If you want to aim high, aim high, but don’t let everything consume you. Just live life.’ Words he wished he heard when he was younger- before his aims consumed him. 

He then opened his wallet and placed two bills on the table along with the note. He wanted to help these boys achieve their dreams; the money that he intended to spend on fuelling his nicotine addiction could at least buy the dancer some new shoes. It would certainly be a better investment, he thought, before picking up his rucksack and exiting the café, a genuine smile ghosting his face for the first time in years.


	3. Chapter 3

Recently, time seemed to flow like a current dragging Jimin through life, the hope of ever finding the man with blue hair dwindling with every passing day. It had been 3 weeks and 4 days since the coffee shop incident, not that Jimin was counting. Tae had sensed that Jimin was tearing himself apart in an attempt to locate the man, and had gently reminded him that it's all down to fate; if it was meant to be, they would find each other sooner or later (though Jimin hoped it would be sooner). He lay in bed, glaring at his phone as it blared the Naruto theme tune, before throwing a pillow at it with tired frustration. Of course, he completely missed his target, instead knocking down an innocent water bottle from his bedside table. When the music didn't stop, Jimin huffed a sigh, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and reaching for the stupid device. 

Squinting at the fluorescent screen which lit up the dim room, Jimin was shocked into action as he read the notifiation 'EXAM TODAY!!'. He cringed as he noticed that he had slept through three alarms already, before calculating that if he skipped breakfast and ran the the campus bus, he may just make it in time. He silently thanked his past self for neatly setting out his outfit and packing his backpack the night before, then hurriedly changed out of his pyjamas, almost tripping on a stray sock in the process. 

He was dressed and out of the door in record time, running down the street towards the bus, which thankfully hadn't left without him. Once safely on the bus, he collapsed into a chair, adrenaline still coursing through his veins as he tried to calm his heart which threatened to explode in his chest. Only then did he think to check his phone, not at all surprised by the many messages of encouragement and wishes of good luck for his big performance. He had worked so hard on this particular choreography, practising day and night to perfect it. He opened a kakao group chat, chuckling at Taehyung and Jungkook's not-so-subtle attempts at flirting, which mainly consisted of cheesy one liners from Tae and (in Jimin's opinion, extreme misuse of) the eggplant emoji on Jungkook's part. After typing a quick reply of 'take it to the DM's', he began replying to his own. 

The first was a string of messages from Taehyung, left at 12am. They read:  
'YOOO ITS THE BIG DAY, BREAK A LEG // WAIT NO // DON'T BREAK A LEG THAT WOULD BE BAD //BREAK A UHH SWEAT?// WHATEVER, JUST DO YOUR BEST MINI, I KNOW YOU'LL BE GREAT!!!' The hilariously awkward message comforted Jimin,  
the butterflies in the pit of his stomach settling with each message he opened.

Next was Jungkook:  
'Hey Jimin, good luck for today! You've worked so hard for this, I know it will all be worth it, but if anything doesn't go the way you planned, it's not a disaster, I promise. Just pick yourself up, brush yourself off and try again.  
You have three attempts to get it right. We're all here to cheer you on, I think Hobi said he'll even try to get some time off work to celebrate with us tonight! We love you Ji x

Just as he read that, another message popped up. Hoseok:  
'Jimin, I remember when I was in your place, I was so nervous and scared of failing that I forgot to immerse myself in the music and lacked emotion- that really affected my grade... anywaYS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS BE YOURSELF ON THAT STAGE, AND FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING. JUST KNOW THAT YOU'RE DOING WHAT YOU LOVE AND LET THE MUSIC DO THE REST (cheesy, I know but that's the kinda advice I wish I had gotten when I did the exam :) // oH btw I got tonight off work so we'RE GETTING LIT MY FRIEND // also I hope you dont mind, but I invited some of my friends too ((you'll get along great so don't worry about that)) >.<

After reading all of the sweet messages, Jimin felt reassured, and confident in himself, as he hopped off the bus and entered the dance hall. He really did love his friends.


End file.
